The Will to Live

My mom died a little over a month ago. She didn’t know it but she was 95 and 1⁄2 years old.  As her medical power of attorney, the goal was that she not suffer.  Thankfully, she did not. She never experienced persistent pain and she died at peace with her family present.

Studies show that acknowledging death and its inevitability increases gratitude and quality of life. I have witnessed the deaths of both of my parents: my father when I was just 14 years old and now at 61 years old. Both deaths brought natural sorrow but also incredible gifts and meaningful wisdom.

I think back to the Living Will that my mom prepared for civil and religious guidelines. Life and Death. Our worlds involve opposites and being able to hold both, I believe, gives us greater perspective and balance. Turning the words “living will” to “will to live”, I can now reflect on how my mother exhibited, throughout her life, a tremendous will to live.

Some define will to live as an irrational “blind incessant impulse without knowledge” that drives instinctive behaviors, causing an endless insatiable striving in human existence. Endless and insatiable? I have seen hundreds of people, young and old, who are in a great deal of pain and I’ve observed closely how physical pain can affect our emotional state, our will to live, and our outlook on anything and everything.

Persistent physical pain clouds our mind. We may be driven to keep going but we numb ourselves, run from the pain or become disconnected or dissociated from our bodies. Over time and often slowly, we lose or struggle to find the power or drive to live. Living with persistent pain can rob us of living fully. Suffering can feel like dying alive yet conversely, pain can also be a great teacher.

Learning to treat your own pain brings you back to yourself, your body and your mind. Having the tools to decrease your pain will improve your life force, and that will to live. We all have that drive and can find it if we look. We can address, treat and erase our pain, wherever it resides. I can help.